Her Actions Are Her Words
by Elizabeth Springfield
Summary: Everybody at Noah's Ark Circus was missing something. A hand, a leg, perhaps an eye. Lalage Lejeune was missing something too. She had absolutely no confidence. Joker leads her to the circus and off the street. Joker/OC -Edit- I don't like this story, so I'll get around to rewriting it.
1. Chapter 1

**This is a longshot here... something I randomly decided to write...since I have writers block on my other three stories .**

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><p>Lalage wandered the street, her head tilted to the side and facing the ground. The cobblestones were filthy. A raindrop hit her head. She looked up as many more followed. It was instantly a downpour.<p>

She craned her neck and stuck her tongue out, embracing the cold droplets to assault her skin. The numbing pain was welcome.

"Aren't you cold?" Asked a voice, sounding intrigued.

Lala's head snapped back down to examine the man in front of her. He had stunning purple eyes and even more amazing flame colored hair. Four pieces of metal pierced each of his ears, and a strange stripe was across his left eye. His right hand was skeletal. He had a white glove on his left hand.

A yellow bowtie clashed, yet beautifully matched his purple cape and black and white checkered shirt. His shorts stopped below his knee and were replaced by white socks that led to black heels.

"Miss?" He looked honestly confused.

Lalage blushed furiously, looking at the ground when their eyes met.

Concerned, he walked up to her and put a hand on her shoulder. "If you need a place to stay, you can stay with me."

Lalage looked at him, frowning. She wished she could reply. That she could force herself to say something. The damned shyness made it impossible.

He seemed to realize that she wasn't able to say anything. She couldn't will herself to. Her working jaw made it obvious. "Come along now," he urged her.

He led her to the Noah's Ark Circus, trying to make sure he didn't startle her. Her muscles were tensed under his touch.

"What's your name?" He asked, sitting her down in a tent and handing her a glass of water.

"L…Lalage …" She mumbled.

"Lalage?" The man chuckled. "What language is that?"

"G…Greek…" She said, not meeting his eye.

"It's alright, you can talk to me! I'm not going to eat you!" He laughed. "What does your name mean?"

"M-my older b-b-b-brother said it m-me-meant talkative…or c-c-chatterer…" She said slowly, blushing.

He hid his laugh behind his hand and introduced himself. "I'm Joker~"

Lalage didn't respond. She just blushed and looked down at the ground.

"Do you have anywhere to go?" He asked her, his eyes somewhat sad. "A place to sleep?"

She shook her head and looked into his eyes, ashamed of her red face. Her light blue hair tumbled into her face, hiding her dark blue eyes.

"You can try out for the circus," he said thoughtfully. "Any skills?"

"I'm…g-good with animals…" She said quietly.

"We already have an animal tamer," sighed Joker.

Lalage shook her head frantically. "N-no! I-i-is there a h-horse act?"

He thought about. "We don't have any horses…but we could certainly get some."

She nodded, her wet hair swaying to her waist. "M-m-my brother taught me how to t-t-teach horses."

"Excellent!" He said happily, his purple eyes glowing. "I'll give you two weeks to train them. We'll get ten tomorrow!"

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><p><strong>This started out as a oneshot... I failed. R&amp;R. If I get 5+ reviews I'll update :)<strong>


	2. Horses

**I like this story too much to care about reviews. And I like the few that I'm getting, so here it is.**

**oOAlyssaOo: I love Joker :) The thought of 5 reviews counts **

**mistofan: So far... :P**

**EffinPoptarts: I'm so awesome, I know. Hehe, don't die.**

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><p>Lalage stayed in Joker's tent overnight. She didn't get a wink of sleep. She stood, brushing through her hair when she realized he wasn't around. He entered the tent quickly. "Lalage!"<p>

She spun around, a look of mortified bewilderment on her face.

"Oh, sorry, didn't mean to startle you," he giggled, scratching the back of his head.

She forced a smile, showing him that she was all right.

"The horses are here!" He said proudly. He grabbed her hand with his good hand and led her out of the tent.

As soon as they hit daylight, curious eyes were on them. "Who's the girl?" A boy asked.

"Come on!" Urged Joker, pulling her into a newly raised tent. "This is where they are!"

He pushed her tense form through the flaps of the tent and into the menagerie. Tethered to a pole were ten beautiful horses. Three were well-groomed Friesians, their black coats glossy. Three were Sabino-white horses, dark-eyed and light skinned. Three brown horses were there as well. Finally, the last, lone horse was the obviously the lead horse.

She was a bay with a beautiful black mane that flowed to her shoulder. Her tail was long as well. Her legs, until right above her knees were a shining white, splaying out towards the hoof. The rest of her body was brown.

"They're amazing!" Lalage said, not stuttering in her excitement.

"Do you think you can train them with two weeks?" He asked.

"Yeah," she said softly. "Do they know English commands, or is it some other language?"

"We purchased them from a French man, actually." Joker said sheepishly.

"That's okay," she murmured. "I can speak that."

"So, I'll leave you to it," he splayed his hands out in a flourish movement and left.

"Bye," she blushed. She was shocked at herself for speaking so flawlessly to him. The only other person she'd been able to talk freely to was her brother… her brother.

She untied their ropes and led them to a corral. She clicked her tongue at them, not shy. "_Viens,"_ she coaxed them. They followed, snorting.

Once they entered the corral, she took their halters off. She separated them into four groups, based on color. She clapped her hands. "This will be your group. Stay there. Get it? _Sêjour._"

She clucked her tongue again and urged the black horses into a tight run around the multicolored horse. Next, she managed the brown horses into a run around them in the opposite direction. Finally, the white horses ran in a larger loop around the brown horses, going the same direction as the black horses.

Since she was standing beside her bay horse, she patted her. "_Filer," _she ordered. The mare spun around in the same direction as the brown horses, creating a beautiful multicolored carousel.

Bracing herself, she gently gripped the mare's mane and pulled herself onto her back. "And that is how it's done," she said proudly, sitting with both legs off the one side.

The horse continued to spin until Lalage tried a new command. The horses were actually very well trained. "_Orientations commutateur_!" she ordered, her voice loud and commanding. They stopped, spun around and ran the opposite direction then they were previously.

"_Bien,"_ she cooed proudly. "_C'est tres bien!"_

She raised her hand and the horses stopped, turning to look at her. "_Meler," _she ordered.

Slowly, the nine horses made one ring, each color different. The pattern was black to brown to white. They ran in unison around the bay, which continued to turn.

"Beautiful!" She said proudly. "_Groupe!"_

They went back into their separate lines, back to the different directions. "_Stand," _she ordered in French, whispering in the ear of her bay. She put her legs on either side of the mare.

Slowly, the horse stood on her hind legs, careful of the human clinging to her back.

"_Filer,"_ she ordered softly. Slowly, the horse pawed at the air while turning in the same counterclockwise direction as the brown horses.

"Amazing!" She heard a voice gape.

"Aren't those brand new horses?" Asked another voice.

"I guess they were already trained!"

"Is that French?"

Lalage felt her face heat up. "_Basse,"_ she ordered the mare. Almost reluctantly, the mare returned all four hooves to the ground. "_Lente," _she ordered the other horses. They slowed to a stop, turning to look at her.

"Wonderful!" Someone clapped. She looked at the gathered group outside of the corral. Joker was there, beaming.

"I guess we've found our new act!" He laughed gleefully.

Lalage threw her other leg to one side of the horse and gracefully slid down.

"You were so confident out there," he told her, grabbing her around the waist and spinning her in a circle. "Perfect!"

She blushed furiously. "Thank you."

"And you didn't stutter once! You were born to do this!" Joker spun her around once more. "We're sure lucky you speak French! I didn't know language mattered to horses!"

He set her down and kissed her on the cheek. "Perfect! Absolutely perfect." He sighed happily. "Can you perform tonight?"


	3. Performance

**I love this story most so far out of my others... Shhhh**...

**The Time of Our Lives: Where did you come up with that conclusion? I'm just curious as to who you are, a bit. I logged into my email and you commented on like every chapter of several of my stories. It made me smile.**

**mistofan: Jokerrrrrrr 3**

**oOAlyssaOo: Y'elcome!**

**EffinPoptarts: You are like my favorite reviewer because you manage to make me laugh with every review. Every. Time. Shh, don't tell the other reviewers. I LOVE YOU ALL EQUALLY.**

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><p>The Big Tent was packed with excited children. They were chattering to their parents so quickly that it was impossible to decipher what they were saying.<p>

"So do you really think you can perform tonight?" Joker was beside Lalage.

"I think I can perform _and_ add new parts to that simple circle," she said confidently. She was glad she had so much training.

"Really?" He asked with fascination. "I'm excited to see!"

She blushed, realizing he was watching her. She nodded, again not able to speak.

He beamed at her. "You come in right after Dagger and his show, alright Whisper?"

Whisper was her stage name. He and his friends had argued over names ranging from Chatty to Horse Walker. Luckily, Whisper seemed the best choice. She nodded.

She peeked through the flaps as Joker proudly walked out. He juggled at first, but the balls fell to his head. "LAAAADIES AND GENTLEMEN!" He called. "BOYS AND GIRLS OF ALL AGES! WELCOME TO THE MOST SPECTACULAR SHOW ON EARTH, NOAH'S ARK CIRCUS!"

The excitement doubled as he announced Beast into the ring. Lalage turned to see the leather-clad woman walk out, her hair kinky and her breasts bouncing.

Lalage padded back to her horses, listening to the gasps of the audience as Beast tamed Betsy, the tiger. They faded as she walked into the other tent. The ten horses were antsy, tossing their heads and snorting.

"Hello babies," she cooed. "_Mon infants,_"

Her bay that she named Chocolate Chip snorted at her, stretching her neck to nuzzle her hand.

Lalage took all their halters off. The music change in the Big Tent meant that it was Doll's act. Next was Dagger, and then Lalage. Joker had ran her through the show a few times.

Her outfit for the performance was a deep blue camisole that matched her eyes, and a bright yellow skirt that reached just above her knees in a flowering end. Some of her hair was tied into two separate pigtails by purple ribbons. The rest flowed down her back freely.

She raised her hands above her head. "_Groupe,_" she ordered them. They separated into four groups, Chocolate Chip in front.

She turned and led them away. They followed after, tossing their heads and stomping their hooves proudly. "Show offs," she grinned.

Approaching the big tent, she heard people gasp as Dagger showed off his precision. Finally, Joker's voice demanded her presence. "AND OUR NEWEST ADDITION, WHISPER, THE HORSE DANCER_." Horse Dancer? What does that even mean,_ she wondered.

She gently pulled herself onto Chocolate Chip's back. She led the pack to the tent. _"Run!" _she ordered the others in French. They galloped in, tossing their heads and snorting. Joker looked confused. Where was Lalage?

Though she sat sidesaddle without the saddle, she kicked her heels into the mare's sides. "Let's go!"

The horse galloped hastily towards the tent. In an impressive leap, Chocolate Chip entered with flourish.

The crowd went wild seeing her. "_Groupe,"_ she told the horses once she reached the center of the ring. They went through the same spinning routine as they had this morning, Lalage ordering them leisurely.

Then, she stood up on the back of her mare. The crowd, including Joker, fell silent. This was what she was born to do. "_Stay there,"_ she ordered a black horse in French. He looked back at her obediently, his bottom facing her. "_Buck," _she ordered her mare.

The horse's back feet lifted into the air. Lalage was launched from the back of the horse, tucking her legs in and somersaulting through the air. She straightened out as she approached the gelding. The air whipped her hair around. The crowd let in a massive intake of air.

She landed on his rump and slid forward, clutching his mane in case he spooked.

The crowd stood, screaming with approval. Joker practically deflated with relief. She spread her arms wide and smiled.

"WHISPER, LADIES AND GENTLEMEN!" Joker let her leave.

Her face was flushed with the dying adrenaline from being catapulted across the ring.

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><p>At the end of the show, Joker tackled her in a hug. "You scared me half to death!" He told her.<p>

"I scared myself!" She giggled. "I didn't actually know how that horse would react. I was lucky."

"You did that without having any safety?" He blanched. "Stupid girl!"

She laughed against his neck as he held her tighter. She belonged here.

What she wouldn't give to preserve that feeling forever…


	4. Digging Up the Past

**it's been a while... huh o.o**

**oopsy-daisy! here! i tried to make it a bit longer. it helps that i've actually decided on the plot, yeah...**

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><p>Lalage hummed a lullaby to herself, brushing out her hair and twirling around her room. A cat mewled at her feet, pressing against her.<p>

She quieted, staring down at it. "What's your name?" She asked in a tiny voice.

The cat meowed at her pointedly. It had black, shiny fur and distrustful brown eyes.

"Nyan?" She repeated. "Hello, Nyan. My name is Lalage," she crouched down to the ground and held her hand out as she clicked her tongue encouragingly.

The cat, barely older than a kitten, slinked over to her and mewled again.

Lalage smiled softly and took the cat into her arms. "Nyan nyan nyan?" She asked it gently.

The cat let out a low _mrow_.

"Nyan nyan," she agreed, standing and holding onto the cat and turning. "You remind me of my brother." She stroked his ears. "His name was Kalil. When I was silly, he would always groan like that." She sighed. "He passed away five years ago, ya know."

The cat hissed, but cuddled up to her bosom.

Lalage continued, smiling slightly. "You see, men were courting me. I was so foolish back then," she laughed lightly at the memory. "I would play with their hearts before I broke them." Her face darkened. "There was this one… Jason. I suppose he wasn't good with rejection. The night after I said 'no' to his proposal, he broke into my room. I screamed, of course, so Kalil ran in." Her voice broke and she felt tears run down her face. "Jason threw me from the room... but I heard a gunshot, and then silence. Nothing."

The cat leapt free of her lap and cuddled up on Joker's cot. She stood, not noticing Joker as she slid free of her costume and laced up her nightgown. Vicious wounds marked up her back, including a deep burn mark.

"Jason kidnapped me…" She whimpered. "And he brought me to some strange place filled with women. He sold me off to men for as long as they paid." she held her knees. "And they all touched me, and begged for me to moan for them. They wanted me to say their names. I was so scared... But you're just a cat." She wiped at her face, smearing the leftover stage makeup. "You can't talk."

"Whiiiisper~" Joker sang from a while back. "Are you in there, Whisper?"

When she looked at him with her tearstained face, he rushed her. He wrapped her in a hug and rocked her softly. She clutched his arm and tears slipped silently down her face.

"I'm here now," he murmured into her light hair. "It's okay..." He gently sat down, pulling her onto his lap and cradling her

Lalage sniffled, but allowed him to touch her. All her instincts screamed against it, though her heart yearned for the comfort.

Joker's amethyst eyes flashed. "I'll protect you, Lalage." He whispered. "You're one of us now." His skeletal hand clasped her shoulder.

The 21 year old closed her eyes and fell asleep to the beating of his heart.

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><p><em>The older man grunted above her, pushing in. "You're still so tight," he complimented her.<em>

_ Lalage didn't reply, emotionless. _

_ "Still going to be that way, eh?" He pulled out and waddled across the room to pull out a bullwhip. "I'll make you scream," he promised. "One way or another." The searing end sliced across her exposed stomach._

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><p>Lalage tensed, her eyes flying open. Outside, the sun hadn't risen yet. Joker was asleep beside her, one arm beneath her neck and the other draped lazily across her stomach.<p>

When she shifted, reaching to escape, Joker groaned and pulled her closer. He nuzzled his face in her hair and sighed happily.

The flap opened, and Beast pushed through. "Jo—."

Lalage reached her hand out. "Heeeelp," she mouthed.

Beast's face was one of disappointment, and possibly jealousy. The animal tamer spun around and rushed out, muttering her apology.

Lalage retracted and frowned. _Beast loves him. Why does he not love her? She's beautiful. _She sighed.

Joker moved his arms to let her go, watching her through his lashes.

She rolled off the cot and crawled over to the wardrobe to dig out what she was going to wear today. A cream blouse and brown work pants are what she settled with.

The light blue cascade of hair shifted as she craned her neck to make sure he was asleep. When she felt comfortable that he was, she stripped and changed.

Joker had to resist flinching to see the extent of the injuries across her torso. Many had scarred over by now.

Lalage stretched her arms and ran her fingers through her hair. Cool air seeped from under the tent's entrance. Making up her mind, she knelt beside Joker's cot and poked him apprehensively.

Joker remained in his pretend sleep.

She poked him again, frowning awkwardly.

He sighed and rolled over.

"Joker," she murmured, her voice barely more than a whisper.

He groaned, amused by her blush and how guilty she looked. She stood, tucking her hair behind her ear. Joker grabbed her arm and pulled her back onto the cot. She squeaked, stumbling to keep her balance as she tumbled back into his hug.

"Good morning," he opened his eyes and grinned at her.

Her eyebrow twitched. "Have you been awake this entire time?" She demanded.

His expression turned sheepish.

She huffed, but then her face turned bright red. "You saw me change!" She gasped.

"What happened," he asked, sitting up and crossing his legs.

Lalage mimicked the movement, but didn't speak. "We have our last performance tonight," she commented quietly. "I h-h-h-h…" She trailed off. "To warm up the h-horses."

Joker scowled and helped her to her feet. "I understand. It's fine." He walked towards the dining tent. "But don't you want to eat first?"

She shook her head, catching the hem of her shirt and wringing it anxiously. "I'm not hungry."

"Eat 'cuz ya body needs it, not cuz' ya want it." He chastised, clasping her hand in his. "Come on."

Lalage tore away and jogged towards the menagerie. "S-Sorry," she murmured.

Joker entered the tent and sat beside Dagger. The boy looked eagerly at him. "Where's Whisper?" He asked.

"That crazy girl is off training 'er 'orses already." He shoveled cold scrambled eggs into his mouth.

"This early?" Dagger's eyes widened. "That _is _crazy."

"I want to know abou' 'er past." He admitted around his mouthful of food. "I think she's a lot more than we think."

"Why do you say that?" Dagger nibbled on his toast.

"She was changin' this mornin', and there's nasty cuts all over her body. I think there's a reason she's quiet."

"There's always a reason," Dagger said wisely.

Joker sighed, looking out through the sunrise at the tent she had gone to.

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><p>"<em>Allons-y! Go! Go!" <em>Lalage called to them. She held her hands up. "_Cesser. Levez, s'il vous pla__ît.__" _

In a wave, they reared. Their front two hooves pawed at the air as they struggled to keep their balance.

"_Non!" _She snapped. "_Cesser!_" _We've been at this for hours… the performance is soon. _She thought, frustrated.

"_J'ai cherché pour tu, mon chére." _A deep, silky voice came from behind her. _I've been looking for you, my dear._

Lalage froze, not daring to turn her head to look behind her. "_Qui…qui êtes-vous?" __Who are you?_

_ "Devez-vous vraiment demander cela?" __Do you really need to ask that? _Footsteps crunched closer to her. "Come, now, Lalage. I thought we had something special."

Chocolate Chip snorted and pawed the ground anxiously, feeling the tension in the air.

"When I heard you had run away," he stopped behind her, caressing her arm. "I was broken."

Lalage sprinted forward with a burst of adrenaline. The black-haired man's hand flew out and caught her by her light sapphire hair. "Stop it!" She begged. "I don't want to go back!"

He dragged her to one of the black Friesians. "But my dear, you must! You're widely missed!"

"I DON'T WANT TO GO," she screamed as he threw her on the horse. She kicked him in the face and slid down the other side of the horse. The horses scattered in fear.

Jason dabbed at his bleeding nose and took off in pursuit as she sprinted out of the tent.

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><p>Joker watched with amusement as performers practiced knife-throwing, tight-rope walking and flame-blowing. "That looks great, Doll!" He called to the white-clad walker.<p>

Doll smiled, bowing at the platform. "Thanks!"

"Dagger, ya should try throwing them all at once!" He offered.

Dagger laughed, shaking his head. "Or not!"

The short, blue-haired act flew through the entrance of the tent. Her shoes were nowhere to be found. "What're you running from, Whisper?" Joker teased.

Lalage didn't seem to hear him as she ducked through the performers. When she glanced over her shoulder, Joker saw utter terror reflecting in her sapphire eyes.

A dark-haired man sprinted in after her, glaring at the back of her head.

"LEAVE ME ALONE JASON." Lalage wailed, climbing up the ladder to the trapeze.

"Or what?" He teased, reaching for her ankle. "I've already killed… Ohohoho," he guffawed. "Don't tell me you actually _like _it here!" His hand encircled his target and he threw her to the ground.

Joker narrowed his eyes, finally realizing that he had to take action.

Lalage laid motionless on the ground, closed-eyed.

Joker tore Jason off, sending the man sprawling.

Jason narrowed his eyes at the clown, but chose to take his retreat. Before security could reach him, he had blended into the crowds of London.

"Someone call Doc!" Beast ordered.

Joker scooped Lalage's unconscious form up and shook his head. "I'll take her."

Beast froze, her brow furrowed. "I'll come too." She decided.

They walked in awkward silence until they reached the medical tent. "Doc," Beast burst in. "It's our new act."

The disabled man glanced at them. "What happened?" He demanded, wheeling over to a cot and gesturing for Joker to set her down.

"She fell." Joker answered quietly.

Doc turned her head this way and that. "She probably has a concussion. It's probable she won't wake up…"

"That's not an option!" Joker challenged, his eyes flashing.

"It's the truth." Doc closed his brown eyes. "I'll keep her in here. If she wakes up, I'll send for you. I don't think she will… not for a long time…"

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><p><em>"Lala..." Kalil looked at her with bewilderment. "What are you doing here? Go away!"<em>

_ Lalage peered around, sweeping her hair out of her face. "Kalil!" She cheered. "You're here… Where are we?" The place was plain white, but it resembled their small, cramped apartment._

_ "This is Limbo of sorts," he explained, scowling and sitting on her bed. "Where you go when you're on the verge of life and death. I believe it's called 'comatose'."_

_ "Why are you her, then?" She sat beside him._

_ "You're mind conjured me." he shrugged. "I'm not actually the real Kalil. Just...exactly him. Anyways, it's clean here huh."  
><em>

_ "Much more than you could keep it," she agreed brightly._

_ He snickered and elbowed her. "I hope you manage to get better," he sighed._

_ "I miss you," she murmured. "I'm so sorry."_

_ The raven-haired male looked over to see her small form trembling with sorrow. He gently pulled her into a hug. "It's not your fault," he promised. "I'm just glad you're alive."_

_ "I don't want to be alive!" She shouted, fisting his shirt in her clenched hands. "I just want to be with you!"_

_ Kalil ruffled her hair affectionately. "You're still so naïve," he smiled sadly. "You've experienced all that pain… but there's someone out there for you now. You've started forging your own future. Once you realize that, you won't need me anymore."_

_ "Don't say that!" She hit him, but it rolled off of his muscled chest without so much as a tickle. "I need my big brother…"_

_ "Open your eyes, silly girl." He chuckled. "Joker wants to protect you. He doesn't want you to get hurt. You have to let him in. I know you're scared, but he does. He told you as much himself."_

_ "Bu—."_

_ "If you don't listen to me, I'm going to rattle chains all night and keep you awake." He closed his maroon eyes triumphantly. _

_ "Stupid!" She protested. The room rumbled._

_ "Someone's talking to you," Kalil explained, amused by the awed look on her face. "Open your heart and listen."_

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><p>Joker watched her sleep. It was the only time she looked truly peaceful. He shook his head at how cliché that sounded. For a week, she remained in this prolonged coma.<p>

"The crew misses ya, Whisper." He told her, tracing random figures on the palm of her hand. "When you wake up, we're gunna 'ave a party!"

There were several beats of silence. Outside, he could hear the murmur of voices. It was true. People were stressed. Although no one knew her very well, they had seen her enough to decide she was nice. It was hard to hate such a shy person.

"I miss ya." He finally murmured. "It was fun makin' ya turn all red."

With no response from the girl, he continued.

"Please wake up soon, 'kay?" He stopped tracing her palm and squeezed her hand in both his. "It's no fun without you anymore. Funny… It was fun before ya got here too… but now yer not actually here and it isn't as fun… ya know?"

Feeling silly, he shook his head. Had he really expected her to magically wake up?

"I'll be waitin'." He told her as he straightened and headed back to the Big Tent. "So please wake up."


	5. Friends

_Lalage sat down in front of her vanity, picking up a wooden hairbrush. With long strokes she smoothed her long hair. "Sweetly I brush away, troubles of today, today. And with this tool I gently slay, troubles of today, today. The men at court they loudly bray, underneath the yellow sunshine rays. I smile and beam and all is gay, I forget the troubles of today, today…" She paused her song and tilted her head at the sound of a creak._

_ "Underneath the moon's silver bouquet, youthful lovers kiss and play, for the moment they have no toll to pay. They forget their troubles of today, today." She gently gathered her hair over one shoulder and stood, swaying to the sound of her melody._

_ There was another long creak. She wielded the candle from her end table and held it towards her window. The cool dark night stared back at her longingly. She smiled at herself for being so skittish and turned her head away. Slowly, behind her blind back, the window slid open._

_ Lalage whipped her head back to the cold breeze. The moon entered her room uninvited and she heard the wind howl. Still, there was nobody to be seen. She scowled and set the candle down at the sill and moved to close it. Nothing was in sight._

_A hand grabbed her wrist. Jason Melardy swung through the frame and forced her to the ground._

_ "Hello there," he cooed. "Remember me? You broke me heart." He held her down and stared up at the ceiling for consolation as he let out a low wail. He tilted his head to the side and looked at her. "Humiliated me in front of my parents, and my friends. " He held a hand over her mouth. _

_ She groaned against his hand and struggled to get away with a low cry. _

_ "I would have cared for you," he told her delicately, he played with her hair absently. "I would have loved you. You're a rarity, you are. A peculiar sort, but exotic." _

_ His hand slid away from her mouth and she gasped in air. "Lord Melardry!" She managed. "What on earth are you doing?"_

_ "You, love." He knelt over her and kissed her neck with his alcohol-laced breath._

_ "GET OFF OF ME!" she screamed, kicking Jason in the stomach with a bout of luck. She crawled into the hallway. "HELP! KALIL!"_

_ Her brother appeared besides her, bewilderment etched into his strong features. He searched her room without delay. The door creaked closed behind him, and Lalage let out another scream. There were three seconds of silence, and then one…two…three gunshots to follow. _

_ Jason reemerged from her room as the victor, blood on his hands and a smirk on his lips. "Sing for me, Lalage~"_

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><p>Lalage woke with a violent scream, clutching her head protectively.<p>

The Doctor jumped, spinning his wheelchair to check on her. "What?"

Lalage burst into tears, clutching her stomach. "Kalil!" she wailed, searching blindly with her hands.

Joker burst through the flap, hearing the scream from the Practice Tent. "Whisper!"

She shuddered and gasped shallowly for air. "I'm sorry! I'm so, so sorry!"

Joker grabbed her shoulders. "Whisper, it's okay!"

"It's my fault," she told him, clutching her chest as if to catch her broken heart. "It's all my fault!" She crumbled into herself. "I should have said yes…"

Joker frowned. "What are ya' talkin' about?" He inched forward and took her under his arm in a half-hug.

She collapsed against him, crying her heart out until she fell back to sleep.

* * *

><p>When morning came, she was feeling better. She walked through the menagerie, clutching Nyan in her arms.<p>

"Mornin'!" Joker called, darting out to meet her. "Ya've been asleep for nearly a month!"

She shrugged, her mind obviously elsewhere.

"We don't have a show tonight, so we're going to throw a party for ya!" He told her, joining his hands behind his back.

She didn't answer.

"What's on yer mind?" He inquired.

She shrugged again.

Joker sighed. "You haven't said anything since you woke up."

She turned and examined him with eyes that didn't seem to register his words. "Where are you from, Joker?"

His expression turned serious. "Me and the first tier members…we're from the East End…We met in a gutter where every dirty being in the world emptied its bowels. People with bodies lacking something since birth, people whose bodies stayed like a child's forever. People who were raised too harshly. People whose parents deformed them. Being like this, we had no hope of getting a job in England. Even as thieves…we were hardly ever successful. I can't remember how we managed…But somehow we survived in that gutter while hiding our breaths."

She reached out and gently clasped his skeletal hand, not speaking her thoughts.

He squeezed her hand. "I lost it." He said simply. "What about you, Whisper? Why are you so quiet?"

She shrugged, leaning onto the post.

He laid his hand on her back, feeling the bumps of her scars underneath her dress. "Why do you have these?"

Lalage shied from his touch and answered quietly. "I don't talk about them."

He frowned. "Then write of them."

She moved and grabbed a newspaper clipping from her pocket, surprising the manager type again. She threw it at him and watched as he unfolded it.

His eyes scanned the old news. Lalage watched his expressions morph from passive to surprise to horror to sadness. "You killed your brother?" He asked quietly.

She sighed and shook her head. Her fingers trembled slightly as she unbuttoned the front of her shirt. With a short spin, the shirt slid off her shoulders and she revealed her back to him. "I was kidnapped." She informed him. "By a man that had loved me before I broke his heart. He sold me to other men, and I was subjected to whatever they wanted."

He could see her quiver slightly, and moved forward hesitantly. She began to button her shirt back up, pulling it back on. "I'm sorry that you had to go through so much," he whispered, taking her in a hug from behind.

"Why?" She asked. "You've had pain too."

"I don't wish pain onto others." He replied. "I protect my friends…no matter what."

She turned and hugged him back feebly. "Then…I'm sorry too." Her fingers found his and she squeezed his hand softly.

"You're my friend," he told her. "So, don't worry. I'll protect you too."

Lalage was the first to break away. "Please don't tell the others. I don't want them to view me as a murderer…or a noble."

He nodded and then deliberated something. "Is it alright if I ask ya something?" He asked, staring at the woman.

"Depends." She replied.

"Why don't ya talk?" He asked.

"Every time I open my mouth…I hear their voices. '_Sing for me, little bluebird. Let's hear that pretty voice of yours. Moan for me_.'" She jerked her head to glare at the pole holding the tent up.

"If ya keep it all locked in, it'll just fester." He laid his hand on her shoulder.

She scoffed, shrugging away from him. "It isn't that simple…I'm going out today."

"Why?" He asked.

"Because I don't know how else to get out of this conversation." She answered shortly. "Bye." She spun on her heel and left him, pushing into the daylight.

Snake nodded at her as she passed.

She mimicked the movement and left the camp. People had already begun to buy tickets. Dagger showed young children his knives, luring them away from their parents to look at Betsy. Lalage thought it strange for a while but focused on leaving.

She slid her hair over one shoulder and fiddled with the ends as she padded into the deep heart of London. The bustling crowd didn't so much as glance at her as she merged into them.

She felt a hand touch her waist. "Don't turn around or I'll blow yer brains out." A voice breathed in her ears. A cold barrel was pressed onto the small of her back. "Keep moving."

Lalage obliged, scanning the faces flitting past her for someone to help her. "For the record, my spinal chord doesn't have brains."

"Shut up." He snarled again. Judging by the voice, this was some thug working under Jason.

Lalage closed her eyes and hoped for the best. "How _dare _you treat me this way?" She screeched.

The guy let out a huff. "He said you would be quiet!"

"The Bloody Baroness? Quiet! HAH!" _Don't think_, she begged. _Shh, ignore them._

"Shut your mouth, bitch!" The guy thrust it hard into her spine.

A tall, raven-haired man stepped in front of her. "Baroness Allenby." He flashed a bright smile. "My master would be honored to meet with you." He took her by the arm and led her away from the man. "Earl Phantomhive."

"Kalil?" She asked, staring at the man with bewilderment.

He blinked, confused. "Pardon?"

"Sorry…forget I spoke." She mumbled.

"Ah, do I resemble the late Baron Allenby?"

She nodded slightly, following him through the icy January street. "Quite."

He turned into an alleyway and she followed without thought. Standing in the shadows was a young child. He stepped out and stared at her coldly with one eye. "Lalage Allenby."

_I just wanted to buy candy…_She deflated slightly, but examined him quickly. His face was familiar, but she couldn't recall it immediately. It hit her suddenly. The shy, sickly boy that hid behind Earl Vincent's leg during his ball. "Ciel Phantomhive," she stated. Vincent had allowed her to entertain his son while meeting with his acquaintances. They had spent time together hiding in the kitchen to steal sweets when Tanaka wasn't looking.

He smirked. "It's been a while."

"Seven years, if I'm not mistaken." She agreed. "I'm s-s-s-s…" She trailed off, resisting the temptation to stamp her foot. "Forgive me." She said quickly.

Ciel raised his eyebrow and advanced towards her. "You're wanted for murder."

She nodded and then shook her head. "It wasn't me."

"Ah, you referred to yourself as the 'Bloody Baroness'." The butler stepped forward, closing his eyes with another cheery smile…Creepy.

Lalage automatically paralleled the step and backed up uncomfortably. "I'm not great at thinking on the spot…" She answered, speaking quickly to get the words out.

"The Queen would prefer to get you off the streets." Ciel informed her.

The young woman scowled. "Do you really think I'm capable of killing my own brother?"

He glared at her simply.

"Ciel—."

"My name is Earl Phantomhive and you will refer to me as such." He commanded, cutting her off.

"I stole cookies from Tanaka with you," her eyes softened with sadness. "You used to ride Sebastian like a small horse when your parents left you alone with me. You vowed that you'd marry me _and _your cousin."

He clenched his jaw. "Things change."

She put her hands on her hips. "Well, if you'll excuse me." She spun and began to leave.

"Sebastian!" Ciel barked.

The butler, now identified as Sebastian, stepped in front of her with an eerie smile.

Panic sunk into Lalage when she met his cold eyes. "W-W-What do you want?" She stuttered, her mind immediately shutting down. _Ohh, right there. That's it_, a voice said inside her head. She clutched her head and backed up.

Sebastian's sleek eyebrows rose in questioning. Ciel watched her begin to tremble.

She doubled over, shaking her head frantically. "I'm sorry," she whispered quietly. "I'm sorry, I'm sorry!" Without thinking, she stumbled past Sebastian and into the street.

Jumbo caught her as she began to fall, looking surprised at her appearance. "Joker was worried about you."

She regained her footing and looked up to him. "I want to go back now," she mumbled quietly.

He nodded and helped her return to the circus. "Are you performing tonight?"

She shook her head.

He nodded in response, as if it made sense to him. It probably did.

Joker greeted her at the entrance. "Doc said you shouldn't go out for long," he announced to her. "Because you're still sickly."

She shrugged and broke away from Jumbo, padding towards her own tent. Her roommate was probably around somewhere.

Joker followed after her, crossing his arms behind his back. "Ya can't just ignore everyone." He informed her.

"I'm not ignoring anyone," she snapped stubbornly.

He caught up with her and matched her stride. "You're really short, ya know."

She huffed, her frame only five inches shorter than Joker. She glanced at him and zoned onto a tiny splat on his sleeve. "What is that?" She inquired, grabbing the sleeve and pulling it closer for inspection. "It looks like…"

"Blood." He finished for her brightly. "One of the trainees cut himself trying to throw knives, and it got on me."

Lalage accepted the answer and pushed into her tent.

Uninvited, Joker followed her in. "So, what are ya goin' to do all night when you're not performin'?"

She shrugged. Since she had gotten here, she hadn't accumulated much. The only belongings she had were the newspaper article from her brother's death, and a handful of pocket change she had stolen from her last customer.

Joker changed the subject. "How did ya get free…?"

She glanced up at him, her dark eyes flashing. "Hell hath no fury like a woman's scorn."

He took the hint and changed to a different subject again. "I was hopin' you'd perform." He told her. "It's pretty amazing. You're like Snake, but with horses."

Her brow furrowed as she sat on her bed. "I didn't train them, so it's really not all that great. You just have to know what to say."

"Nobody else here would know that." He said.

She shrugged meekly and drew her legs up perpendicular to her body.

He settled across from her and she let out an inaudible sigh. _He's determined to converse with me._ She thought sourly, joining her hands idly in her lap. "Which trainee cut himself?"

Joker shrugged. "I didn't look."

She tilted her head. "Oh."

He pulled her smaller form towards him and spun her around. She was like steel beneath his hands, her muscles coiled tensely. "I won't hurt you," he reminded her, running his fingers through her hair. "I just wanted to play with your hair."

Chills rose on her skin and she clenched her teeth in an attempt not to bolt out of the room.

His fingers flew over her head and she shivered slightly. His breath was warm on her neck. His fingers made her scalp tingle slightly as he tugged the strands into a braid. "You've got goose bumps, Whisper." He told her.

She hugged her arms and stayed as still as she could.

A realization slowly dawned on him. "Are you scared of me?" He asked.

She shook her head carefully.

Joker frowned and set his chin on her shoulder. "Are ya sure? If you're uncomfortable just tell me to stop."

She shook her head again. "You're my f-f-f-f-f…" She gave up.

"Friend?" He finished for her.

She nodded.

"I'm glad." He quickly finished her braid and tied it up with some spare twine in his pocket. He clapped her on the back and jumped off the bed cheerfully. "I have to go now!"

Lalage offered a half-smile and waved as he left. As soon as he was gone, her smile disappeared and she settled into her bed. _He's after me...__and he'll be willing to do anything once his patience wears thin._


End file.
